Empty space

If you want to rip me apart my treasures

It’s okay

I don’t know if I care less

About myself, or i don’t care at all

If you want to stab me at the back

It’s okay

I’ve learnt to handle pains

And I’ve grown off them

Life!

Like falling stars

Everyday my life is falling

Maybe somewhere

But I, can’t help myself

Free

you belong to me

I’m free and I’m fun

And I’ve traveled on my own

I don’t know how long I’ll go this way

Don’t know if I’ll go at all anyway

For today, I feel alive, breathing

Under the sky, yet I don’t seem to care.  

-Dhira (8/6/12) 

Untitled

Oh nothing… nothing is left of us

Now it’s just the songs that bring us alive

It’s just our songs, that reminds

Old days… 

seem to have gone long ago

But I’m still stuck in yesterday

Trying hard to keep up to the pains

Lil dreams come alive

As our song plays it right

All those words I gave to you

Comes back making me think

Why do I have to watch you leave

Wasn’t it forever

But now you’re with another

I have to watch you leave me forever

dhira. 

Invincible Me! (this is not a poem)

Ever wonder how some people cease to move on after a break up?
it is sad and most times they don't realise it but they're actually punishing themselves.

Well, i have been there and don't even remember since how long until i realized that-

"Attachment is actually in the head!"

I had let go of a relationship a long time back, yet my mind had been sincerely attached and hence keeping me unhappy. I realised I have to ‘Actually’ let go to be happy, meaning let go of him from my mind and say goodbye to his thoughts forever.  So what if I don’t meet him, all the love has been in my mind. Hence, free my mind of all attachments.

All this while I thought I can’t live without him, but now I know the solution is not just to let go of him from my life but also from my head!

 It is only then, that I have actually moved on and stopped punishing myself. I have to keep my mind at other things. Think of a bright future, plan my way through this darkness towards sunshine!

Yellow, is not about him, it is about me being happy! No one but I alone can make me happy! So I have to love myself enough and keep me from thinking about sad things or sad people!

I am Dhira Roy and that is invincible enough! =)

Timeless hopes

As pure as a virgin may be

Her love is too true to believe

She was to wait sincerely                                                                                               

She still awaits for her time dearly.

For many may come by

To say it is crazy

All seems hazy

But to her, it will seem right

In her soul, the light is still shining bright.

However long it may be

However apart you may be

If does he ever look back,

His love awaits here sincerely

So will it, to eternity!

-dhira.

Cancer

As I watch you bleed

I die a thousand deaths myself

I wish I could help you

I wish I could keep you

But I keep holding you

As we run out of time

Wishing in every breath

God! I don’t want to lose you now

I cry

Helplessly

A state I could never change

I want to take your pain

You can’t leave me so soon

You can’t leave me in the dark

There is no moon, no sun, no stars

Don’t leave me in the dark

You are everything to me

 My only family

I could never say those until now

That I am helplessly watching you leave

If we go back in time now, lets go back in time

I’ll change all those I could to make you merry

Oh! Breathe again

One more time, please for ever more time

‘God! How could you do this??’

I yell, I scream

I feel a hole in my soul

A cut in my throat

A tear in my heart

Insanity

As I watch you leave…

I die a thousand deaths myself.

You could take with you yourself

But I have you in me, a part of me

That I’ll take with me through life

And to grave. I love you!

-dhira.

A few lines of wisdom

Jab jab dard ka badal chaya,
Jab gam ka saaya lehraya,
Jab aansu palko tak aaya,
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya,
humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
dil aakhir tu kyun rota hain
duniya mein yunhi hota hain!

Yeh jo gehre sannate hai
waqt ne sabko hi baante hainn,
thodda gamm hain sabka kissa
thoddi dhup hai sabka hissa,
aankhen teri bekar hi namm hain
har pal ek naya mausam hain
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai,
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hain!

- from the most poignant bollywood film of the year 'Zindagi na milegi dobara'! (one of the few hindi movies that i could watch again) :)

INTERRUPTIONS…

We connected

Everything was perfect

Oh! Time unexpected

We were infected

(How we were infected)

Mis-led emotions

Mindful confusions

 Troubled confessions

Oh! Obsessions, thou art obsession!

How I wish to be your possession

I will be thy possession…

No connections

We have no connections

No confusion

No more delusion. 

-dhira. (28/4/11)

Counting Stars..!

what if,

one day i wake up

and all the love is gone

you know,

i'll still be living

coz you know i'm strong

loving you

is like counting stars

everytime you look up

you know,

you missed out on some, that's far ..

so i fight baby,

till i find you, love

till there's nothing left, to be found anymore

you see,

love is not easy

and it's us, we drive us crazy

but hold on, please

there's one more to find

ohh there's some more you'll find

loving you

is like counting stars

everytime you look up above

you know,

you'd find some more, some more for us.

-dhira.

6, mar'2011

Are You Ready?

Something’s not right

Is it you or is it me?

Someone’s got to hold on tight

Is it time to break free?

Let it be

Do we let it be?

Love will set us free

Are you ready?

Let it be

Do we set us free?

Time will only heal

Are you ready?

Breathe out now

Aren't you choking?

Enough with the vows

Are you still holding?

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

We could make it

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

We could break it

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

No more faking

Who else to believe in

Hearts can be deceiving

Time in to give in

No more to grieving

-dhira (23/5/10)

Without my One & Only Star :(

Now i don't know what to do?

what to do? what to do?

what to do? what to do?

without you...

A whole world lies in

between you and me

a whole story lies

amiss and incomplete

And i don't know what to do

what to do? what to do?

what to do? what to do?

without you..

i can only wait and see

time is all i have with me

when time was all i'd been cursing,

Now, time is all i have with me

to take me to my destiny,

you are my destiny,

my reason one and only,

The only real thing

So, i wait, and i wait, and i wait,

and i wait, and i wait and i wait

i'll wait

cause' i don't know what else to do? (what to do? what to do?)

what could i do? (what to do? what to do?)

Without you...

-dhira (15th may'10)

Love, Lose and Getting Away !!

You...
ohh I never meant to hurt you
You were the precious something
I had ever had

Lose..
Ohh how i never meant lose you
But it's just me, y'know, to lose
everytime.. I've wanted this bad

Love...
ohh...love
It's just a tale i've heard them tell
but i know for the time i felt
yet i failed to understand you..
you say i never understood

Hate..
ohh how love can turn to hate
the deepest cut you make
I keep making my mistakes
and you know it's insane...
How i can't sustain

Yes, sometimes it's me..
just me, in me
to let you go away, let us get away
to let you fall, and let you fail
I can't stand.. to be like them

I love to, I tend to drift away
You should know ..I never meant to drift away
Never meant to fade...

But You...
Could try...
see how you shine
Without me, you're so fine !

Stay..
Isn't always easy to stay
We could swear to ourselves
yet find an easy way

Love...
ohh..it's you and it's love
I don't belong...
but it's hard to get away
it's always hard to get away !!


-dhira (18th apr'10)

Amaya ..( On Her Own) !!

On her own, she takes the bus at six
On her own, she walks her day in bliss
On her own, she sets her ways apart
She struggles yet she's a star!


On her own, she visits the city and malls
On her own, she’ll go for movies and walks
Sometimes a treat, or a book and coffee
She doesn't care, she lives it all... (On her own)


On her own, she sings and plays her songs
On her own, she goes to visit her church
She visits friends, she loves and she cares
She listens and mends, fixes when it rains... (On her own)


And no, she ain’t no lonely,
Ask her, she'll tell you,
How much she loves life and to be...
On her own!!

And when the pain comes on,
She'll face it all and grow strong
She says she needs none (yes, she needs no one)
She cries like a baby, she writes like a crazy
Yet she fights her way, till the end

And when you ask her, she'll tell you
How much she loves life and to be...'On her own'


- Dhira

A Hang-Over !!

It rained here last night

that's when you came by

You said it's been a long time

been a tough time

You need someone now

to hear you out

to listen to your cries

and that's when you said

you missed me still

You say i walked away

You say i don't play

our songs nomore

you say i don't love you ..anymore

But i loved you too

why did u go away

When i loved you too

why were you walking away...

and i tried...ohh i tried,

I stood still against time

I was in front of your eyes

by your side,

yet the lies..

I knew i was to pay the price

even then, i stood by...

even then, i changed my lines

even then, i'd give my life

I stood still, all the way, all the time

--dhira(6th april, 2010)

Oh No !!

Oh no, please no
Don’t say, please don’t
I like you, but need you
Oh that I don’t…
A little upset I’ve grown

I’ll never be able
To look up to you now
I’ll never be able
To be a friend somehow
Never be able.., to be capable

So please don’t
Don’t say no more
I like to be ignorant
A little less ruined
Little less fluent

Or I could never be able
To be myself again
I would never be able
To be truly the same
Never be able, never capable…

So, please, please don’t
Or I’ll end up being done!

--dhira (30/3/09)

The Saved Message...

if i say i don't wanna see you again,
will you still be there waiting for a chance...?
if i say i don't wanna talk again,
will you still be there or your love will change...?
if i lose my sense, go insane
will you still be there holding my hand...?
and if i say goodbye,
will you still stand by, stop me and cry?

Is your love unconditional
Or do u love me for a reason...
will you hold on to me
through the changing seasons
through ups and downs.
Through my troubles and disdain
will you help me breathe,
and feel love again...?

and if i do ever expect...
will you be there to fulfill all my wishes...?
if i lose my sight, go blind
would you help me see where my true self lies...?
if i lose a count on my track,
would you help show me the way back...?
and when the world turns it's back
would you hold on, let me hang on to you...?

when i'm hurt and lonely,in solitary
would you sit beside to give company
and when it's cold and dark
would you be there to bring warmth to this heart
N' when i'm pale, and numb and i lose all i have
would you still be that someone to say, ..."i care"!!
Coz' by now you should see
without you, i'm so incomplete...!!

-by dhira !! (28/3/09)

Out Of Mind!!

Everytime I try…convince
Myself that I got to move on
So everytime I pluck the strings
Of my guitar to play a new song
But everytime I fail to understand
The reason that just why I fail
Why can’t I give up
And start a new day…??

Hell-o… An’ I want to thank you
For giving me this pain
Hell-oh… An’ I want to say goodbye
To those endless rains
To those endless cries
Those lonely nights
I want to say goodbye
Don’t want to see you again

Everytime I try sense
The feeling that I’m free at last
So everytime I try pretend
I’m over with the broken heart
But everytime I fail to understand
The reason that just why I fail
Makes no sense when I still miss your love
And this guilt of mine…kills me to death

Hello… An’ I want to thank you
For giving me this pain
Hell-oh… An’ I want to say goodbye
To those endless rains
To those endless cries
Those lonely nights
I want to say goodbye
Don’t want to see you again

Hell-no…don’t want to see you again
A final goodbye to those endless pains
Hell-yeah…now I can’t pretend
It’s got to end…, I need you too much
But I don’t want to see you again…!!

--Dhira (25/4/08)

Fadin'...

Bury me into your memory
I am your memory
Heal yourself from this state
Love will find you way again

I shall come again
Into your dreams to haunt again
And will help you make your way
Towards the sunshine again

Tomorrow is a brand new day
Why not leave the past back there
Let it hide with the darkness tonight
The dawn will soon break again

Time will heal all your wounds
Hopes shall build you new roots
I’ll be gone forever soon
Away from your mind, away from you

New rains will pour again
New day will ease your pains
Soon you shall forget those days
Where once I, had made my way…

wid love and some tears..:)
--Dhira (1/04/08)

My love still burns...

There goes my man
He’s got the gun
He says it’ll bleed
And it shall be fun

He loves to kill
He loves to burn
I’ll be pleased
I see him come

I failed to love
Taste my blood
He hates to love
The game is fun

He loves to kill
He loves to hunt
He says it’ll bleed
And it shall be fun

I am the one
I failed to love
I’ll be pleased
I see him come…

And it shall be fun
And he triggers the gun
But he fails to learn
My love still burns…
--Dhira (27/3/08)

Those nights I still await..!!

Like owls in the night
No sleep in our eyes
Glancing the moonlight
We’d speak our minds

As if endless is time
We’d write and write
I’d read your mind
And you’d read mine

We’d wait for the rain
And you could ease my pain
You would make my day
Make me come back again

You understood me
Only you could feel…
You were like an angel
From my dreams

And I was there to wait
The promises you’d made
For you, I had faith
And I was …to wait

But little, did we know
Every night has its dawn
Time would leave and go
Yet, leave behind the shadow
To haunt our mind and soul

Fates too have changed
Those rains too could end
Dreams too do break
Yet …Those nights I still await…!!!


--dhira(22/3/08)

You were all I need...!!

The world came crashing
I stood all alone
Heavy rains poured in
Frens were all gone

I turned to look for u
You are all I need…
Thought I would find u
You didn’t even remember me

I tried hard reminding
But you had moved on
I never felt this lonely
But you had been gone

Now I blame myself
Some mocking bitter truth
An’ life has been hell
Within.. I breathe guilts n’ u.

Lay awake at nights
Memories hurt.. Wounds bleed
Awakened by the horrifying sights
I’m still trying hard to breathe

Livin’ is now a struggle
Pains.. But I’ll try heal
Wonderin’ if I could be a survivor
N’ if I will breakfree..

Do you never look back…
Or are those slumbering within
You would never walk back
Will I see new dreams…

At the end of the day
No matter what I achieve
I will…but look back
You were all I need..!!


--~--dhyrra--~--
(12/03/08)